Tuesday, March 01, 2005 @2:37 AM
i noe i suppose be slping now.
but. i juz cldnt stop cryin.
i realli feelin sad fer most of my frends.
they didnt do well fer their Os.
and i tried to cool them down.
msg them. and all of them told me they are fine.
somehow. i still feelin sad.
and hopeless.
tis feelin is like wot i felt abt khairum.
she always its okies. nvm, i'll be okayy.
and in the end... the onli thing i cld to do.
was see her leavin us.
can u understand how it feelin?
my life. is filled wif lots of broken glasses.
i'm glad some of my frends did it.
but those frends. are mostly. is kind of a world where i dunch belong to.
i seriously gettin tired.
to smile to joke around. when i wasnt in the mood to do so.
juz like naruto. naruto felt tt way too.
esp in swsy. i'm the worse and lousy player down dere. i swear.
confidence is onli thing i lack of.
i hoping to improve myself. juz to play fer the concert.
my 1st concert as a musician n as a swsy memeber.
but whenever i made mistake while playin.
those pair of eyes starin at me. is all so discouraging.
i tot of quittin swsy.
cos i felt tt i dunch belong to that band too.
and shld i say.. i dun suit to be a musician at all.
but some reason. which i still pretty hesitate on it.
tts some of frends down dere.
i will nvr find the confident sandy back.
she already died 3yrs ago. wif khairum.
things will nvr be the same again.
no matter how hard i tried.
things will nvr be the same again. realli.
time will can nvr bring a person back.
i already lost one person who are v important to me recently.
tell me. when is tis gotta end?
