Thursday, April 28, 2005 @7:40 PM
Carry my voice to him
Tell him right away
Hurry, come here
Feel the unseen power
I want you to believe in it.
The continuation of the dream is - look!
singing a melody to tomorrow
Carry my voice to him
Tell him right away
Hurry, come here
You hear the mysterious beat
that's reminiscent of days gone by, don't you?
Linking distant memories,
now the story begins
Words I couldn't say
are spilling out into my hands
Whenever I turn the pages
of the diary to my heart, I realize
you were always there by my side
We met
because of an unseen promise
Please tell me the reason
You still remember
the oath we swore that day, don't you?
Let us paint a rainbow of hope
to the very ends of the sky above
Carry my voice to him
Tell him right away
Hurry, come here
Feel the slight fever rising in my heart
You knew, didn't you?
The continuation of the dream is - look!
singing a melody to tomorrow
The miracle of loving
I'll let out the secret
and run to you
Carry that voice
Tell him right away
Let us go in search of the shining future
that's still as unknown to us
as if we've just layed eyes on it.
Don't be afraid of anything
As long as we're together, we can walk on without stumbling
Carry my voice to him
Tell him right away
Hurry, come here
Feel the slight fever rising in my heart;
You knew, didn't you?
The continuation of the dream is - look!
singing a melody to tomorrow
Monday, April 25, 2005 @4:01 AM
ahhh. been freakin bz lately.
zz. by the end of the day, my whole body feels like jelly already.
okies. lets tok abt yesterdae.
went to pray my dad @ bishan in the noon
then after tat met up gar meng. fer the sake of my geog guide bk and his chem notes.
went to swsyouth.
as band prac changed to sat.
started @ 6pm.
this time. swsyouth band B combine wif us, the band A.
lol. i was quite suprise tt there's a china guy frm flute section. the band B.
he was bringing a jacobs biscuit the tin box to the band prac :/
me n hilmi was like starin each other and went 'ehhhh' ("o.o) (o.o")
lol!!! and his flute was damn old old type wan lorr. guess his flute is freakin old.
well. his playin nt bad too.
damn i still think i'm very lousy among the flute section -.-
durin band prac.
lots of crap n jokes goin around.
1. i was wearing shorts skirt tt prac. is like the skirt inside is a shorts la.
half way durin the prac. mr syuri was tokin to other section...
stupid alan look at my shorts skirt n tok crap said : sandy! why u wear until liddat??
tryin to seduct tao (the china guy) rite?
me : no???? fer fugg? is shorts aniway.
alan : so short. hai yo!!
hilmi : sandy u shld sit liddat. cross ur legg. -hilmi demo. cross his leg like prositute.
me : wadever -.-" - then i pull my shorts skirt. lengthen abit.
alan : still v short!!! - i continuing pullin
alan : aiyo sandy...
me : -stood up. DUN SEE LAAA. WAH LAO!!!!!!
mr syuri : did i miss anithing? o.o -stare.
me : quickly sit down. nononono ._____.
2. when mr syuri. askin the tbone section abt certain part of the piece.
mr syuri : wots is written on the score on that bar??
tbone member : #%$^&*(&^%$#@.... *smth smth* quaver!!
me : huh?? salted quaver??? -.-
mr syuri : salted quaver? o.o
3.cant remember clearly wot happen. everyone was luffin abt somebody's mistake. i was luffin like hell.
mr syuri : must be u rite sandy??
me : noo. nt me nt me
mr syuri : ya la. everytime nt u. reminds me of a story.. 'it wasnt me!!'
me : -___-
later while playin puszta. the mvt 2. the key signature is C major.
i dunnoe why i keep makin bloody same mistake like. keep on playin Bb.
while playin halfway.. i accidently played Bb AGAIN
mr syuri : IT WASNT ME! IT WASNT ME!
FUCK. i realli cldnt stop luff. even andy was sittin beside me also luff like shit.
geez. seriously la. i like always kena suan by pple wan. zzz. if liddat i everytime liddat get so mani attention.
i wonder will some of the band members will find me irritatin?? :/
oh well. hope nt.
aniway. who cares?? :x
after band prac.
took the same bus as hilmi alan izzat nabil muhaimin n jolin.
mervin didnt take same bus home. dunnoe why.
ya la. comfirm they get v rowdy n crazy on the bus.
wif their dirty jokes and all. LOL.
but last nite was extrem diff. was it becos there's a full moon :// ??
went ps n makan long john wif 'em
and took 190 together wif muhaimin.
online n zzzz.
okayy. let's tok abt todae.
woke up around 9 or 10am.
v weird. i woke up n my auntie wasnt dere.
yeaa. she's hospitalise.
then rott awhile. makan. homewk.
bath. change cloth.
call yunus and ask to meet together fer sws dunnoe wtf general meetin.
msg jojo n muhaimin to meet up together.
when we reach bouna vista.
yunus msg me asked me to go 1st dun need to wait fer him :/
alan hilmi mervin didnt turn up fer meetin.
during the meetin....
wah liao. i dun understand ani single shit -.-
k la. onli 1/4 of it. when comes to tokin abt our youth winds :x -tingting!
after meetin gt buffet.
we sat around n tok.
after tat.
we took cab n rush botanical garden fer saf central band performance.
me. jolin. izzat. nabil. muhaimin. fidaus. fir. 5D.
met up wif timmie n denise.
then later wanqi came.
saw mr andy sim. stanley sim n keith.
haha. oh ya. also mr syuri :X
lol. the performance wasnt tt bad la. cant say v good too.
oh well. then all of us walk our way out of botanical garden.
tokin whole lots of rubbish. realli v funni- LOLs.
walked till the main road.
timmie need to rush to a family garthering.
nabil need to go zouk dunnoe do wot.
both of 'em took cab.
fidaus wanqi denise went town fer dinner.
fir stayin the east. so 3 of 'em goin diff direction wif us.
later. me jolin minah 5d izzat.
took 170 to woodland.
on the bus again. we tok hell lots of craps here n there.
HAHA. damn funni.
we dropped at somewhere at woodland. took another bus.
izzat dropped 1st cos he stay near masiling sec.
left wif me muhaimin jolin 5D.
went causeway. and makan again at mac.
had a long chat.
after realize i gotta be late home.
so we chao after tt.
took 187 home wif muhaimin.
then reached home bath.
still wondering wot happen to yunus man :/ call him up but he didnt pick up. hope he's fine.
dry my hair n here am i typing this entry.
lols.
k la. i actually v tired already. zzz.
left abit f homewk. yawn.
tryin my best to start focus on my studies liao.
yupp yup. ofcos together wif all of my frends. takin Os wif me.
hope u guys are doin realli fine-
b4 tt. swsy members. we goin to perform well fer the comin concert!! woohoo! swsy!! rox \(^^)/
tts it. will update soon. chaoz!
Saturday, April 23, 2005 @1:54 AM
HELLO ((:
thanks to all of my frends out dere nvr fail to cheer me up ya?
haha. great. hope things will turn out fine soon.
kkae. i stepped down my band liao.
sry gsb. my studies realli need more time.
i will be back again. i promise. >_<
fuckin mr **h. i swear. i cherish gsb more than u do!!
well. i started to read novel.
strange huh? i noe fer the sake of my engWish- i have to.
budden. readin can actually be v fun too.
haha. shall share it fer u pple next time.
juz do a quick update. cos juz now bro usin my lappie.
nw v late liao. zz.
i doin juz fine these few days.
tryin to revise my work. use the time wisely.
yupp. heard tt mr ching leavin gsb?? oh well.
damn so pathetic. we juz got sliver. y leave =(
bahh. next.
recently. i did lots of thinking.
yaa. n it helps. lols.
feelin stress no more !!
no worries man.
k la very late liao.
i'm turnin in! tc pple tc =]
-i will try my very best.
i noe u will be here again fer me.
Sunday, April 17, 2005 @3:06 AM
heyys dere.
well. realli. no more syf.
band prac cut down. realli sux big time.
my mom. no. almost all my family givin me pressure.
wif all the scoldin n naggin.
wah lao. hate it man.
lets dun tok abt it riao.
recently i came across a friend of mine.
who actually havin a similar situation i experinced b4.
i still remember after i waved gd bye to my sec 2 yr which was the best yr i ever had.
i didnt noe lots of thing cld juz changed my whole life.
esp my passion towards band n music.
use to be a blur-as-ever, innocent small litter ger.(compare wif now. big different ://)
tot my life goin continue like tis. but life isnt a bed of rose after all.
sec 3. seniors left the band. those one yr old seniors.
took over the band. whole section suck up the seniors. i was in big trouble.
backstabbed n all.
i told myself. dun care abt 'em
at lease i know i didnt do anithing wrong.
somehow did those punishment which i dun deserve. realli hurts my pride.
sec 3 was also my 1st syf.
before syf. things which i wldnt wish fer.. realli made me see wot's reality actually means.
kahruim. she's always the one who understand how i feel fer the band.
we ponn band prac together n all. ha.
sars period took place.
syf was delay. i realli wished tis didnt happen.
the band was realli havin bad time. i wished syf cld have over.
n i cld quickly stay away frm the band.
i didnt expected her to quit tis game. commited suicid
she've been suffering frm depression. nobody noes it. includin me.
if syf over. i bet tis will lessen her burden.
she cld have still together wif us.
my mood goin to band prac. was damn sickening.
facin the pple who use to be the bastard n bitch.
they dun feel sry fer kahruim at all.
i also felt v sry fer mr sim.
he put lots of efford fer gsb. yet pple took him fer granted.
2003 syf. i still remember i brought a white rose.
request to bring it to vch. wif kahruim's trumpet.
in the end. i am so so. disappointed.
we didnt make it. no is nt we. is me n the gsb.
after syf. n mr sim left.
i actually decided to leave tt band.
nvr touch the flute again.
all my skill n playin went rusty.
again. family prb.
that was the time. i finally cld feel kahruim's sorrow-
my sky was damn dark. i was livin a life of HELL.
i gave up on lots of thing.
i started to do things alone n all.
cried in slience.
tot of suicid too. juz like she did.
theres once i wrote smth fer kahruim durin lesson.
caught by maths teacher. he took my paper str8 away.
but i scolded him back. well. sent to office.
tok to the principal.
after tt i was send to counseling every wk.
i was told tt i was actually havin depression.
ya. slowly. i learn to control my emotion.
ofcos. i tryin to be like the way i use to be.
somehow. it was difficult.
my heart was so heavy. hardly smile.
sec 3 i hardly passed my exam to get onto sec 4.
affected me alot. how hurts.
started to go church. cos i was seekin fer helpin hand n listenin ears frm god.
v soon. i became a christian.
at 1st my mom scold me of doin tis. she's an anti christ.
after sometime. prb solved.
still.everydae. after sch.
i juz like to on my discman. walk my way back home. alone.
been dependin of god fer all these time. prayin v hard each nite.
i still cldnt bear to give up on music completely.
around mid yr. i was so happen to noe tis band call swsyouth.
thanks to gavin. my shi fu.
asked me to go to their concert.
v interested in tis band.
met jolin in irc. she brought me to the band.
i finally found a place to play music again. together wif my flute.
but in sch i barely go fer band prac.
wasnt lookin forward fer the new conductor too.
juz anihow play fer speech dae. n stepp down fer n lvl.
i juz onli luv sundae. swsy band prac.
my playing wasnt gd as it use to be.
havin kinda difficult time too.
relationship. was another sad case fer me.
i still confuse wif my heart wants.
after sometime.
i got to noe tis strange guy but yet looks normal to me.
well. lets call him. eh. 'mr smile'
as usual. i tokin crap in irc.
and i so happen to see him in one of the channel.
so ya. sian enuff to click on his nick.
we chatted. like juz awhile.
he str8 asked fer my number? :/
i actually he might be some despo pple or wot. bahh.
but well. i cant be bother also. so gave it to him.
mr smile started to sms me.
24/7. v soon he became my companion.
accompany every min. like a shadow to me.
slowly. i dunnoe why or how to explain.
he actually filled my daes wif smile.
met him in concert.
got free tix frm him :x
talked on the phone.
cheated in class test wif his help x)
promised me to cook fer me somedae.
promised me to bring me out n play after his Os \(^^)/
there's a time. he called me out.
the reason or purpose he said tt he wants to shop fer shoes??
eh. well. in the end. he didnt bought ani damn shoes :s
i juz accompany walk around shoppin centre.
saw his frend n jrs.
i was suprised. to the extent i was kinda scare -.-
pple mistaken i was his gf.
didnt bother too.
we walk around the shoppin mall.
he wasnt realli shoppin fer shoes.
bahh. but somehow. tis mr smile.
juz like smile at me. every min.
i was like staring him behind. dun wan let him see my funni expression ;x
got knoe his frends.
we shared ice cream. merri mint. together.
was it kena force? no. haha.
we chit chat together. seriously we realli look like couple.
maybe becos he was sittin beside me n all.
we luff at each other. comparing who's hand is bigger. who's arm is shorter.
sry if i didnt get to tell him. it was very sweet of him.
after tt. i found out he actually smokes.
but he didnt smokes in front cos he knew i dun like it cos of my father.
it made me v happi when he said tt.
making our way to cine.
lots of his frends was on the street.
they kept on suaning him. said he lousy n all.
cos they tot i'm his gf.
finally i need to go off fer sws concert.
he accompany me to the bus stop.
b4 i left to take the bus.
i was staring at him while he wasnt noticing.
lots of word i wanted to say to him.
but didnt noe how to say it out.
mr smile i'm sry...
my life is realli gettin better.
thanks to those of my frends. been so caring.
listen to my prbs.
encourage me nt to give up.
mr smile was the 1st one tt i realli appreicate alot.
maybe he nvr noe. how cld have happen if he wasnt there fer me.
after killin lots ten yr series fer n lvl.
those nites he spendin wif me. helpin me.
finally was over.
but mr smile's o lvl started after tt.
i stopped to sms him.
didnt want to disturb him too.
while during my free time.
i always been thinking to do smth fer him.
so i actually made some thing fer him.
ofcos he received.
lols. i was v glad he likes it.
i was hopin we can go out again after his o lvl.
started to work in coffee club.
my days was realli tiring.
very nite. on my way home after work.
i nvr failed to look up the sky.
and i actually realised how much i've been missin mr smile.
i knew my heart felt fer him.
but things juz nt gettin the way it shld be.
after so long mr smile didnt sms me.
he's like changed to another person.
the way he sms me.
i cant explain.
tryin my best too.
during releasing n lvl result.
i was so glad i made it.
yes. the 1st one i cant wait to call was mr smile.
at nite. suprisely he sms me.
i nvr been so happi again to get to see him msg me like last time.
he joined swsy. but sadly. he didnt tok much to me.
but he usually go home str8 after prac.
he started to work too.
so cldnt ask him to come out.
gt to noe his frends too.
all of 'em encourage to let him noe how i feel.
during last xmas.
i tried v v hard.
well. ha. tts it.
he left after i lay on his back. which last fer less than 10 sec.
2005.
brand new yr fer me
mr smile sent me his new yr wish fer me.
didnt expect he goin to do tt. but.
tt was the v last time i ever see mr smile here wif me.
after so longg.
i decided. goin back to gsb.
greenridge symphonic band.
i joined percussion fer help.
i prmoised kahruim. i will lead the band well.
after been thru so mani hardshipp.
last tue. we. gsb. did it!
i nvr been so proud of gsb in my whole life.
at lease i noe. i did my job as a frend..
slowly.
i dun get to see mr smile again.
onli seein mr smile's clone but all impression he used to gave me n feelin.
disappeared.
i tellin myself mr smile will be back home soon again.
maybe seein him is juz enuff fer me.
i still got lots of frends fer me.
thanks to those pple helpin me. encouragin me.
and yes god. u're the best.
ks. after typing so long it's already 3.44am
goin to bed now.
oh. if u readin rite now.
thanks. fer readin words which i type it wif all of my heart.
hope after readin it.
nvr give up on anithing.
if u believe. u can do it.
tho right now i might v sick n tired abt some stuff.
but.
i believe in everything.
wot abt u? (:
Saturday, April 16, 2005 @12:57 AM
fri fri!
the dae i damn lookin forward to.
eh. ahhaa. which means endwks comin soon! \(^^)/
lols. yupp. todae was my sch sports dae.
been shoutin n scream durin sports dae.
yea. i was bloody cheer learder fer everest.
was fun tho. lols. won 1st in B gers long jump! lols! wheEee.
then had dinner at west mall. wif my ex senior, seng kee.
long time didnt see him man. lols.
well. ya. i also decided to meet up wif frends b4 prelims.
cos i noe i will nt have ani more free time to get to see 'em :'(
yaa. hahah.
todae's also the last dae of syf.
congrats to st hildas. mr sim ((:
well. finally i feel v happi fer him. ya.
haha.
congrats to all the bands out dere who did v well tis yr!
those band who feelin damn disappointed. cheer up ya?
every band has their ups n downs.
nvr give up!
k la nth much to update abt.
told u my life is so sian.
bahh. tml still got mr ong's remedial or shld i say math test?
bleah. oh well. tts all-`
cya!
Thursday, April 14, 2005 @8:34 AM
gsb've been gettin bronze in the syf since 1996.
but on the 12/4/05.
2005 BATCH GSB. THEY GOT SLIVER FER TIS YEAR!! \(^^)/
bwahahha, was damn happy i tell ya.
budden. i dunnoe why i kinda gettin afraid to play precussion again ://
went celebrate after bandd.
woohoo. nvr been so so so happy n tired too.
realli. bwahaaha. lalala (((x
but on the 13/4/05.
was having parents meettin session.
i didnt do well fer my common test.
ya. mom scolded me v badly.
i dunnoe y she suddenly became nt understanding.
realli disappointed. she also tryin to stop me goin to swsy prac.
well. NO WAY. i insist. if anione stoppin me.
undesired action will be taken.
syf's over fer me.
bahh. here comes the studies. n also some personal stuff. - nt relationship.
relationship shall nt be mention.
i noe how silly i was. even when i was in realli sad. needed someone. yet. i was all alone.
v sadd. no answer was given.
studies? bahh. i v stress.
i realli need settle wif tis bloody thing ' S T R E S S'
woo. k. fainted ytd.
realli v tired. i think shall ponn sch fer todae :X
yea. here i am to blogg while other pple is studyin sch x)
oh ya. chij tp havin their syf.
all the best! all the best candice!!
zz. i chao liao. v tired.
Monday, April 11, 2005 @5:16 PM
it was rainingg. somehow it started to stopp when i finally met up wif u outside the shoppin mall.
u use ur hand n wape away rain droplets on my hair.
and u luff at me how silly i looked.
as usual. i gave u tt funni face back n wanted to walk away.
but u held my hand. i smiled at u. and told i was juz kiddin.
we were holding each other hand n went inside the supermarket.
we shopp fer pasta ingredient.
as we walkin to the counter. saw a v v cute pair of soft toys.
u were askin whether if i wan to buy it.
but i joked wif ya tt i wanted to buy the pink colour fer ya ((:
as we were queneing up.
u smiled at me and said u goin to cook the best pasta fer me.
i gently held tight ur hand n nodded my head.
when i wanted to say smth to u...
damn. my handphone alarm rangg.
6.20am..... mon...........
so. it was juz a dream.
which can nvr be come true.
and i juz realized i was huggin the soft toy u gave me.
went into bathrm. i stare at the mirror.
damn. greeted by one pimles.
wash up n all.
tune in to radio from my hp. n went off to sch...
bahh. i slacked whole dae.
guess tis is the last dae i slackin.
after syf. no more.
hopin. i can do everything on my own.
dun have to depend tt much by huggin doggie to make me slp.
deleted numbers to prevent doin smth which is kinda silly.
started to d/l soothing song which can ease my mind n heart.
browse more bks. findin smth which meaningful to do.
it might be the same like last time.
when. at lease i know wot i'm doin already. yea.
tml. finalli.
is the dae. filled wif mixed emotion.
i dunnoe how to say. one min i will feel like cryin
next min i feel like luff :s
bahh. aniway all the best to everyone out there takin part fer their syf.
yupp. all my frends. jia you.
gsb. we are goin to shine on the stage.
is juz another last 150km to the finishin point.
yupp. khairun. hope u will support us up dere.
i will also play n aim the music in the name of jesus (:
SHINE WE ARE!
Sunday, April 10, 2005 @12:29 AM
before i go to bed.
juz wanna pray.
lord. our dear holy father.
i hope u can gimme the strenght to lead the band.
i will try my best to teach n guide them.
more than juz a music.
n pray that during the band prac everyone can focus well.
bring the band spirit n teamwk together.
in jesus name we pray. amen.
Saturday, April 09, 2005 @1:28 PM
heyys. pretty long nvr update my blog ya.
haha. well.
1st of all. i FLANK MY BLOODY COMMON TEST.
next. SYF IS COMIN OH SO SOON.
sighh. things are messin up my life again n again.
but i noe. i still frends around me nvr fail ta encourage me.
seriously. sometime i tried my best nt to cry la.
eh. lately. some bastard sittin next to me in class.
always look down on me. fugger.
is like he came to ask me wots my result. and i told him i failed.
then he fuggin said : oh expected. fugg u la. u think u so great meh.
next thing is. I HATE PPLE LOOKIN DOWN ON MY GSB.
fugg shit. dun u pple look down on band.
gsb is alive again.
i made promise i will lead tis band wif my batch member together till the very end.
and also. after syf.
i shall study v hard already.
as u can see. how time files esp when u are takin Os.
i left less than a month to catch up.
chinese Os. then my concert is in 5th june.
5th june will be the dae. tt my dream will be come true.
after tt. i will be mugg like hell most probably.
ofcos. i hope all of us will encourage each other.
doin stuff alone n sufferin in slinet is unhealthy.
and i dun wish tt happens to me.
i still have things tt i havent say to u.
when i needed u. u almost here.
but i cldnt reach to u.
hope ya doin v fine without me. misses*
i miss the way u smile at me.
Sunday, April 03, 2005 @11:55 PM
heyys. finish watchin turn left turn right.
i dunnoe why i feelin so sad. yet also feelin happy.
happy becos the both of us still able to contact each other.
sad becos tho we still got to see each other but. our distance still v far.
i dunnoe. feelin so emotional.
if u aren't the one who i waiting. i hope i can able to give up.
but. i juz feel. we still gt a long way to go.
pls. let me noe how u feel too kkae.
i miss u. no i nvr say tt to u yet b4.
and everytime. when we look into each other eyes.
can u feel how much things we wanna to tell each other?
i miss u. realli.
@12:47 AM
HELLO! waves-
i am so so so happi.
yes. GSB MEMEBERS. u guys are doin v well.
u guys rock! yupp. no worries. we can make it fer the syf.
remember. gotta to be serious when we prac.
liddat we can enjoy when we playin fer the syf ya?
long live GSB!!
khairun. hope u gotta hear us high on tt day.
i miss u. i will rewrite ur story fer u.
GSB!
me n jia hao
eugene yan ting and me
more pic : http://mygsb.mypicgallery.com/
